In a world that often felt like a storm I couldn't escape, my Gram was the only lighthouse I could see.  People talk about "safety" as a concept, but for me, safety has a very specific smell:  it was the clean scent of Oxydol laundry soap and the warm, spiced aroma of Poor Man Cookies drifting from the oven.

    I call her my Lifeline because that's exactly what she was.  When I was tucked into her bed, snuggled into the curve of her arms, the rest of the world vanished.  There, I was untouchable.  No one could reach me through the fortress of her love.

 

Gram was the steady, quiet strength in a house that could be dark and difficult.  She was the light that refused to go out, even when the shadows were heavy.  She was more than just a grandmother; she was the very definition of Grace- the steady, divine presence that stood between me and the world's sharp edges.

 

    She was a woman of the Depression era- someone who knew how to find beauty in the grit.  We would sit together for hours, charcoal pencils in hand capturing the world we knew.  We didn't draw fantasies; we drew the truth of the Nebraska hills.  We drew the steady, rythmic turn of the windmills, the heavy presence of the cattle, the peacefulness of the horses at sunset, and the winding geometry of the barbed wire fences.

 

    Every pencil stroke was a lesson.  While the world outside was loud and harsh, Gram was patient and kind.  She showed me that even the sharpest wire could be drawn with a gentle hand.  I wasn't just her granddaughter; I was her apprentice in the art of survival.  She taught me how to be soft in a hard world.

 

    For a long time, she was the only safety I knew.  But the greatest gift she gave me wasn't just the protection of her arms- it was the map.  Because of her, I haven't just "felt" safe; I have been safe.  The storms still blow outside, but they don't get in.

 

  Tonight, as the moon rises, I can still her voice:  

 

"The man in the moon, he winks his eye...

uh huh, uh huh, uh huh."

 

    I wink back, not as a scared little girl, but as the woman who kept the promise.

 

The Harbor is secure.  And Gram is the reason why.

 

 

From Gram's Kitchen to Yours

Poor Man Cookies

For when your harbor needs the scent of home.

 

Ingredients:

 

 

  • 2 cups water

  • 1 1/2 cups raisins

  • 8 tbsp vegetable shortening (or lard)

  • 3 cups all-purpose flour

  • 1 1/2 cups sugar

  • 1 tsp baking soda

  • 1 tsp cinnamon

  • 1/2 tsp cloves

  • 1/2 tsp nutmeg

  • 1/2 tsp salt

 

Instructions:

 

1. In a saucepan, combine water, raisins, and shortening.  Boil for 20 minutes.  Let it cool until it's just warm.

 

2. Whisk the flour, sugar, soda, salt, and spices in a large bowl.

 

3.Pour the raisin mixture into the dry ingredients.  Stir until it forms a thick paste.

 

4. Spread into a greased 9x13 pan.  Bake at 375 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown.

 

5. Slice into bars while warm.